I found the best beach. We have a beach that takes 10 minutes to walk to at the end of our street, yet we jump in the car and drive, risking getting caught in the railway traffic – which inevitably we always do – just to go to this beach now.
We spent Xmas day there and I went back there tonight. 37 degrees at 8pm!
It’s so much quieter at this beach. Not like our beach.
A quick dip and a lie in the setting sun and I felt my achy legs cool down and almost relax.
You would love this beach.
I miss you at this time of the year and I know you miss me too.
I know I can be a fool at times, but I’m not wrong about my feelings and I put money on it that I know how you feel too.
But life goes on, and we have moved on.
I dreamt of you the other night. We met and we were both silent, not daring to speak. But as we moved away, we bumped into each other, forcing us to face each other. And just like that we kissed. We kissed and kissed. It was so real. It wasn’t even sexual. Just kissing, but deep and passionate. We never kiss in my dreams. I’m not sure why we kissed and for so long.
When I woke up, I just lay there in disbelief. Did that actually happen? How can these things happen in dreams. For so long in my dreams you would not speak to me. I looked for you in my dreams, but you would never look for me. Now you are coming to me. Questioning me. Kissing me. I know you love me and you can’t let go of what we had. I can’t either.
Actually, we are both stuck. I am pretending to move on just like you are. We are making future plans, just not together, but thoughts of each other are never far away. This blog is as close as I get to admitting it aloud. If you had agreed to meet me recently, I would have told you. But it wasn’t to be.
Not now anyway. Timing. Another summer time is here, and maybe I will make the changes.
enmeshedmum 